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The Journal Of OOM-9

Chapter I

    Hi! My name is OOM-9.  I was born on Novemb- Oh, wait I wasn't born.  I was activated. That's right. I'm a droid. A battle droid to be exact.  I work for The Trade Federation.  We droids don't have emotions, so I won't  be telling about friendships I've had throughout my life.  I am programmed to only think of things that are related to warfare.  I work in section 134598 of the Trade Federation.  Here is my life's (so far) story. I am a slow typer, so I'll spare you the details.

    My home is kind of small. It is about the size of a kitchen cabinet.  I - Oops. I can't talk about that. I forgot. My complaints about my droid shack aren't related to warfare.  I could tell of every day and my schedule, but it's really boring, so I'll skip about thirty-five years ahead to the good part.

Chapter II

    I sat up. How long has it been since I was last turned activated? I checked the date. Twenty-seven years?!?  Apparently, they hadn't needed us for a long time!  An eye piece with a video screen hanging from a mechanical arm moved right in front of my artificial eyes.  On it a appeared Nute Gunray, the viceroy for the Trade Federation.  In his odd, annoying voice he basically said "The Republic is getting in the way of our blockade of Naboo.  Of course it sounded more like "Zay Republeeck eese gitting een zuh way  ond way nade yo to help, OOM-9."  

    I climbed out of my little shack and activated the other droids.  One of them, T3U-5, yelled "What?!? I was  hoping after twenty-seven years of deactivation, da bosses would of have discarded you!  I held my finger up to his deactivation switch and said "Care to repeat that?!?" "Sorry, OOM-9." He muttered. "I didn't mean it."

     Once I had all the Droids up and running I told them the story.  We were  to be deactivated and shipped to Naboo, where we would resolve the problem.  The Queen of Naboo needed to be captured, and we had to keep peace and eliminate all resistance....

* * * *

    Days later we arrived at Naboo.  We cleared out all  the forests and attacked all the villages including the remote underwater villages.  We discovered that a small army of Natives was planning to attack the city.  I reported to my boss and he told us to draw them away from the City, and especially the Palace.

Chapter III

    Days later, we first sighted the band of rebels.  They had large shield, and although we couldn't blast through it, we could walk through it slowly. They were led by a powerful general whom they called "Jar Jar Binks."  The battle  was going well, and after an hour or so, they had all surrendered. Then it happened. Everything went black....

* * * *

    Five months had passed since we were reactivated. The Trade Federation told us that we had lost the battle due to a fighter blowing up the main hull of the droid control ship.  They deactivated all the droids again except for me. I convinced them to let me write my life's story down on paper, saying that if I got it published, it would be some good, free publicity for the Trade Federation.  And that is the E-book you are reading now!